Remembering Larry "Rudy" Queen
One day I will be a great saint. One day I will have a soul made of sunlight and skin and I will shine like the saints in the stained glass windows of churches. But I do not shine now, and I would never be mistaken for a saint but when you meet one who shines like a stained glass saint…you never forget.
Why lilies? Why especially lilies? Maybe He loved them for being white, the way I love delphinium for being blue. Maybe it was because of their long slender green leaves that look like swords and maybe it was because the blooms look like trumpets. Maybe He loved them because they are so common. Maybe because they were fragrant. But it seems like He loved them.
It was in the Sermon on the Mount, that Jesus told his followers to consider them. Consider that lilies are dressed better than kings. He uttered that command with same authority that he commanded us “to let your light shine” and “turn the other cheek” and “love your neighbor.”
He loved sparrows too and He didn’t think their care and feeding beneath the dignity of God. We can’t comprehend that kind of care. And it would be easy to say Jesus was just a lover of nature if this was the whole picture of Christ. But it is not. The same man that looked at flowers and loved them looked at humans and loved them too. Jesus celebrated God’s care of sparrows and miraculously fed 5000 people. He did not love beautiful and attractive people, His love made things and people beautiful.
So, it should be no surprise to me that he loved lilies too. And I looked into the eyes of a saint that day, a saint who loved lilies. And I will always remember him.
My mind knows a world of illness, the fear that can invade a person. I know a world where illness can strip life of its joy, dim the light of the heart and put shock in the eyes. I see worlds breaking. I watch their helpless love. I see the young lives that should be out in the sun enjoying life that leave lamed by an accident. I understand that no one can learn beforehand and elegant or easy way to die. And some days standing between the bleak despair of illness, some days I see the beauty. Some days I see the unquenchable light of the human spirit. And see the people who gain distance from their suffering and transform it. And it was one of those rare days, when I saw all of that and I will never forget him.
He didn’t look as well as he had the day before. I was afraid he might be getting septic. But he was just thinking about how much he loved her and how much he missed her. He was thinking about a time when death would surrender and time would be no more…and there would still be Calvary.
He loved music, particularly Southern Gospel. He sang. But mostly, he loved well. And that is how he will be remembered that he loved well.
I was standing on holy ground that day and forgot to take my shoes off. He didn’t know then how it was going to end, but he knew it was a win- win. He didn’t know what suffering he may be facing, but he knew he held the trump card. That when it was all said and done and death had surrendered…there would still be Calvary. There would still be love that conquers death.
I listened to music with him that day and it made me cry. Actually, I wept when I got home. After all these years, I still haven’t gotten used to all the tears and perhaps that is the point. And after all this time of wondering and waiting and praying, it turns out Jesus shows up in the oddest of places. On that day, Room 901 Reynolds Tower. On that day, Jesus was singing southern gospel music.
It arrived in the mail this week and I wept. Remembering how he loved lilies too. Remembering his courage, his faith, his love, his transparency, his suffering that transformed, and his song. Seeing a saint shining that day and knowing now that he lives where time and space are no more. Knowing that he is singing with the one who loved lilies.
All is grace,
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