Tuesday, July 16, 2013

What Listerine can teach you about Jesus


 

Tragically it did not work.  And I just want to save you from spending the time and the money and looking for the right flavor.  Pinterest can lead you astray.  I pinned this idea on my board, “I so gotta try this.”   My heels are a broken, cracked, ugly mess.  And Pinterest promised me that Listerine worked.  So, Vance came home and found me soaking my feet in white enamel ware pan and said, “What’s that smell and what on earth are you doing?”  I said, “I am fixing my cracked heels.  Pinterest said Listerine works.  You just soak your feet in a half gallon of Listerine with a cup of vinegar and some hot water for twenty minutes and instant exfoliation.”  Vance said, “Well, I would have bought the blue kind.  And I never knew Listerine could be bought by the gallon.”  I told him I opted for the original because Pinterest said the blue would give me Smurf feet.  So, after twenty minutes, I still had cracked heels, so I did it again for forty minutes.  I crawled in to bed that night, deflated, and wondering just how long it would take me to use that leftover gallon of Listerine.  I told Vance, “It didn’t work. My feet still aren’t soft and now they burn.”  Vance said, “Well, it is not magic, it is antiseptic for your mouth.”  And he turned over, feel fast asleep and between the snores I pondered what he said for the next hour. Occasionally, the men we marry will say something deep and profound and it shocks us.  And we think, “Damn, I guess sometimes you do think about things other than sports, food, beer and sex.” At least that is how it works for me and Vance.

It seems I have been dancing with you for about 49 years now.  That’s almost five decades of dancing and I am still waiting on you to teach me the Harlem shake.  Sometimes I look at your long wiry, salt and pepper hair that has been torn and looks burned and your caramel colored faced with deep brown eyes that hold the deepest wisdom and your tribal colored skirts that tell stories of the most ancient secrets that are older than the foundations of the world, and I smell that familiar scent of bread, wine, frankincense and apple pie and wonder why we still dance.

I remember when I was young you would gather me in your lap and sing low in that minor key reminding me that there was a rock older than the earth itself that would shelter me and there was a fountain with water that was alive.  You would swaddle me in those skirts and tell me stories about how you were there at the birth of the universe and you just whispered four little words and there was light.   You told me tales about the oldest magic that made the waters rise and cover it all and a rainbow gave a promise that the dread was gone forever.  You took a breath as deep as a valley and whispered on my forehead that you were there when that ram ran out of that thicket and Abraham put his knife down.  You spoke with the wind and made me wonder how it felt when you put those rocks in David’s hand.  You just held my hand and said, “Child, don’t fear the dark.” You would smile brightly at me and nod knowingly that one day, one day, one day I would dance in rhythm with you. You taught me the sacred things that would grow deep roots I would need to face the storms one day and you knew I would learn to dance in the rain. You rocked me to sleep whispering to me that all would be well because you had already faced history’s darkest hour.

So, you weren’t surprised when I needed you to chase the monsters out from under my bed.  I am a little taller now, but still fight demons.  You saw me fall off my bicycle and worse things.  You were my elbow healer and superhero.  I would ask you to come if you can and you always said, I AM.  You weren’t surprised when my heart broke and I promised never to love again.  I was weak, I couldn’t speak and I was angry at you who was my heartache healer, my secret keeper and my best friend but I could still call you by name and you said, I AM.  Life can be cruel and harsh and mean and what kind of world is this that you fashioned out of a word.  You saw my mistakes and when I was weak and unable to speak and not even able to call you by name, you whispered I AM.

 So, when I said forever to whatever that means, you knew we would have our moments.  You knew sometimes I wouldn’t want to dance and sometimes I would not want to talk to you and sometimes I would forget all the old stories and the sacred things you whispered in my ear so long ago, and sometimes I just wouldn’t be able to find you at all.  When you found me kicking rocks and walking out in the desert, you said, remember and believe.  I cried as you walked away and it was hard living out in the border lands with people that looked different from my own.   But I watched them say ancient words over and over again, and cross themselves and kneel and stand and kneel some more and drink wine and eat bread and I listened as they chanted those magic words,  “eat, remember and believe.” 

You came back and picked me up in your arms and said, “Child when the feelings leave and every thought of certainty has been banished from your mind,  don’t forget me and my long, old hair and tribal skirts and wrap yourself up in the old stories again.”  I told you I was far too old to play silly games with you and I didn’t have any rhythm and you raised your eyebrows, and told me I had missed the point.

So I asked you one night, why your hair is such a mess all the time.  “You just shrugged your shoulders and said when humans go looking for eternity; they rarely do so with care.”

Sometimes now I see remnants of your skirts in fields and I remember how we danced when I was younger and I think about all that has passed between us and I wonder if you left those pieces there on purpose.  I miss the magic and I am still waiting for you to come back and teach me the Harlem shake.  But if I listen closely to those ancient stories, I can hear the hum of your voice and I can feel your breath on my forehead and you gently whisper, “Child, it is not magic, just remember that I can still see you in the dark and we are not done with dancing yet. I am still writing the song.”

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