If I close my eyes, I can hear him singing it.  I really can.  And I don't know why I thought of it today of all days, I just did.  And I will never forget that chapter.  And I think only Mahalia Jackson sang it better. 

It was tough. His passing left a gaping hole in their hearts and they didn't know how they were going to fill it.  I must have sat around that kitchen table every Tuesday at 1100 am for three months.  He had the biggest hands I ever saw.  Ever.  I can only imagine how many babies he blessed, people he baptized, bread he broke with those hands.   I can only imagine how often he closed them in prayer. He had been a local pastor for over 40 years.  He said his knees bothered him alot.  He was well over 6 feet tall.  I wondered was it from all his hard work or from praying.  Both I suspect.  He could not name a favorite verse but he guessed it might be..."God so loved..." and he stopped with that.  "God so loved..."  He thought the best way to live was by absolute dependence on God...This is what his family told me every Tuesday at that kitchen table over tea and whatever cookies had been sent...Their grief was palpable...

So on that Friday morning I knew when I got the call it would be tough.  Some passings just are.  Some just leave larger holes than others.   I suspect the size of the hole equates with the depth of one's loves for his fellow humans.  I suspect that to be true.  He lived long, he had lived right, he had lived well and he died well too...

He walked in and started singing.  He started singing.  Precious Lord.  That is what he sang. (And yes, he nailed it.)   And after I picked my heart off the floor and wiped my tears and held back a sob...and after he prayed and after he comforted and after he consoled and after he blessed...he walked over to me...

And he said...

This must be hard for you too...you have taken care of him for so long...and you must feel it too...And you must be very tired...And I was all of those things...every single one of them...BUT it was the only time...the first time...that anyone had ever consoled me at work...He and I both did hard work.  I suspect he felt called...  He still does the work.  I have had to take a break for awhile.  He did the work better than anyone I ever saw...and I wish I could bottle it and pass it out to everyone...I wish he could teach that...but you can't...

Being a  man after God's own heart...you just don't see it everyday...you just don't...and I will never forget...how he sang the  man home...and how he took care of everyone in the room that day and saw that they were comforted...including the nurse...and it has left an impression on me...if you stand still long enough on any given day...

Jesus walks up..if you open your heart on any given day...Jesus walks up...and I am glad I stood still enough that day to see...

All is grace,

Kathleen