Marginalia

mar·gi·na·lia. noun pl \ˌmär-jə-ˈnā-lē-ə\ : marginal notes or embellishments (as in a book).


Apparently, the monks charged with copying the scriptures were prone to writing in the margins.   Right there on the margins of illuminated texts is a running commentary of their random thoughts.  To share a few:

New parchment, bad ink. I say nothing more.


Thank God it is getting dark.


It is cold.


The ink is thin. 


I copied the it all, for Christ sake I need a drink.

And knowing this gives me pause.  First it is down right funny.  Second it does make one wonder if the monk in charge of passing out the gospel of Luke to be copied, said, "You know what, just copy Mark."  It also makes me wonder if perhaps the words, "You brood of vipers," were maybe added or they left some parts out because they were just tired.  Food for thought.  The scriptures are inspired words of God, but I suspect some humor or misconceptions may have been woven in. And it also makes me realize once again that life...most of life is lived in the margins...and it is the margins that bring us the most joy....and the moments that take our breath...and the stuff that is really, really holy.  We probably should give a little more attention to the margins of life than we do. 

My margins have been rather full and complicated this week.  With lots of cursing, do overs, humor and some tears.   My margins really say alot about my life in general.  What I give my attention to, what I love, what I hate, what really puts me in a twist, what makes me smile, what makes me laugh so hard I am wetting my pants, what makes me want to swallow six peanut butter cookies whole.  And to be honest, I have been so sad this week, I have found it hard to concentrate on writing.   Then I read about marginalia and saw Snowhite and the Huntsman (which is epic BTW).

Vance has been in New Hampshire since Sunday.  What I miss most about him being gone is my laundry is not getting done, I am having manage Davis' sports schedule and my dishwasher is broken.  I freely admit  am one very spoiled wife.  And while I always have known this, I am grateful not to be a single parent.  Parenting alone this week has been a challenge.  First, Davis lacks confidence in my parenting/scheduling abilities.  I suspect the one time I took him to baseball practice in Mocksville and gotta sort of lost and we were late...made him a little wary of my ability to travel to unknown locations.  First GPS can be somewhat of a joke and on my best days can be directionally challenged.  Even at 7, he got yelled at for being late even though he can't drive and clearly it was my fault.  Sports are just like that.  He also has to be 15 minutes early for everything and I just have to be right on time.  So, this week we when we learned that high school basketball workouts have started, I think he about had a nervous breakdown.  First, his dad isn't here to sort this whole summer league basketball thing out.  Second, he knows his mother very well and earliness is not her strong suit.  Third, I did once forget to pick him up and while CPS wasn't called, he has never forgotten it.  So, no less than 7 times a day he texts me to remind me what time practice starts and he tells me to be at the gym 15 minutes early to pick him up. (BTW, it is at the same time and location every day).    Today, he text ed me 4 times in 3 minutes to see if I was coming to pick him up. He really has trust issues with my ability to chauffeur.  He also had hitting practice for baseball this week.  I think he reminded me about 6 times Monday as to what time we had to be there.  Vance knows my limitations in keeping up with this insane sports schedule and leaves me a detailed calendar. 

I about had a nervous breakdown when I dropped him off at high school basketball workouts and saw the size of varsity and learned that JV would be guarding them.  Davis even said wryly, "I think I might be over matched."  I said, "You think?"  Davis is so sore he can't move and so tired at night he collapses after practice.  My over active imagination of course worries that he might be "working" too hard.  He did confess to me that he has this figured out.  If you win your free throw or lay up drill, you DON'T have to run.  He said, "Well, I just pick a partner I knew I could beat so I didn't have to run.  I think the coaches figured it out though, 'cause on the third drill, they made me change partners."  He also doesn't mind working out so hard it makes him vomit.  He just gets up and keeps playing.  I of course, think he needs a PICC line and IV fluids when he gets home, but this is all just worried momma stuff.  If Vance were here, I would not even think about this stuff because he would be handling it.  I guess I should realize that if Davis can figure out how to win a drill and NOT run and he doesn't mind vomiting during workouts and he doesn't care if every two steps his legs are killing him, I should let it go.  Tomorrow he has to be at the gym which is five minutes away at 9 am.  He has already set my clock for 7 am so I won't be late. 

The dishwasher broke and has to be replaced.  My husband must be having a seriously good time in New Hampshire, because he text ed me and said, "Just go pick one out and have it installed."  HE has never NOT had an opinion on a major purchase.  NEVER.  So, I don't know what he is drinking or smoking in New Hampshire, but it must be good stuff.  Of course, I am not entirely naive and there is no way I am buying that dishwasher till he gets home. 

Vance does the laundry at our house.  ALL OF IT.   I do not even know my way to the basement to do laundry.  Of course, my son knows this and has had to remind me that he has no clean underwear or shorts to wear to basketball practice.  This would explain why I think he should own no less than 14 pair of shorts (he does not) and 21 pairs of underwear (he does not).  If he did, we would not be in an underwear/short crisis right now.  I have managed to wash all the clothes, but none of it has been folded.  I seriously considered purchasing more just so I would not have to do laundry.  I hate to do laundry.  I should also mention that Vance loads the dishwasher because he does not like how I do it and I have been known to rerun it just because I don't want to unload it.  This of course drives Vance insane.  BUT, since I have 3 complete sets of flatware (8 place settings each), 2 complete sets of dishes (8 place settings each), dish washing has not entered into crisis mode yet, I still have plenty of clean dishes till Vance gets home.

I have also been known to park crooked.  This apparently drives someone so very, very insane at the hospital, because when I got to my car this afternoon, the following bumper sticker was on my window:
"I park like an idiot.com"  First, the dude who put this on my car, has no idea that not only does this NOT offend me, I take it as a challenge.  If the dude does not like how I parked today, just wait till tomorrow, the day after that and the day after that.  I will even purposefully park next to him the rest of the year just to annoy him.  People with road rage and time to get angry over things like that amaze me.  It also amazes me that they actually spend money on a bumper sticker, take to the time to feed their anger enough to put it on my car AND actually have deluded themselves into thinking I CARE and that it will embarrass or shun me into parking THE WAY THEY WANT ME TO.  NOT SO MUCH.  IN FACT, it challenges me to annoy them further.  Do I know that people like that basically are small minded and very unhappy?  Of course I do.  But I love a challenge.  I love to annoy people who think people really have to follow all of these imaginary rules.  LOVE IT. 

A patient made the mistake of crossing a line with me today.  I suspect he won't be doing that again.  And I suspect that he is treating his nurses a lot more kindly after the word of prayer he and I had today.  Word to wise, it is not in your best interest to piss off the woman holding a 1 inch needle in her hand that she is planning on inserting in your chest.  NOT AT ALL in your best interest.  It will also never serve you well to invite me into your room at the hospital and ask me to help you AND then challenge my professional ability.  SERIOUSLY not in your best interest.  I won't share how the conversation started but I will share how it ended. 

PT:  "You really don't play do you?"

ME: "Nope."

PT:  "Do you have any children?"

ME: "Yes."

PT:  "How many, what kind and how old?"

ME:  "A teenage son."

PT: "I am guessing he does not talk back to you much in your house, does he?"

ME: "That would be very correct.  And just in case you are wondering, I consider this MY HOUSE too.  You might act like this at home, but not here.  This is my house."

PT: "I kind of thought so.  You are pretty."

ME:  "Dude that does not work for my son either.  Charming doesn't cut it with me."

PT:  "You are not as nice as the other one are you?"

ME:  "No, I can promise you that BUT I am as good and you are not going to behave like this AND get my help."


He ended by saying he was sorry, thanking me, promising he would be nicer to the staff and asking me to tuck his covers in.  I tucked him in.  Most patients are really just very, very scared and need a momma.  I am a good momma. 

Davis and I had a very insightful conversation about why more perfect games are being thrown now than 90 years ago, Iverson REALLY was not the ball hog Vance thinks he was, the spiritual meaning and Christ motif in the new Snow white movie (and it is loaded with metaphor), and the only prayer you ever need is the Lord's Prayer, according to Davis that covers it all especially when you don't know what to pray,  that no one will every understand your crazy family  like your own cousins and family dinners at restaurants really do remind you just how strong family love is, how much white rice one family can really eat, how much more competitive baseball is now than ninety years ago and while baseball players love the money every single one of them plays BECAUSE they love the game and would play anyway, how hard it is for rising ninth graders to run set plays in basketball, that Duke players really don't practice THAT hard, and how hard do you have to practice when the top five players on in any position all are on your team and your bench is every coaches dream team AND when all five of your players are COMMITTING FOULS ALL at the same time, the referee really CAN NOT call five fouls at ONCE on the whole team so he just has to ignore it till blood is spilled, the reality show Mountain Men and it is really scary that people live like that, our cat really needs to be on diet but how do you really accomplish that when your cat pushes the bowl across the floor till you fill it up, can one man really fix the economy and why do people really think one man can, exactly where is Scandinavia and we can't wait to see the movie Rock of Ages and the Great Wall of Chocolate at PF Chang's really is as good as gets and how hard is it to divide 5 into 80?   and even Davis knows people waste way too much time on being angry...as he says..."Really?  Why not just keep playing ?  Why be so mad all the time?  Mom...being angry like that is just a waste of time.  Oh and Mom...ball hogs...eventually everyone figures out they are selfish and won't play with em"

It is my margins that remind me how much life is meant to be lived, felt, experienced, seen, touched and loved...it is in the margins that real stuff is...the tiny, mundane things of life...it is grace...and it is to be wondered at...shared...commented on...remembered...lived...and always praying in the margins for people who hurt, who are grieving and whose world's are turned upside down

All is grace even in the margins...it really is how you live....

Kathleen



 It's How You Live Video:
ttp://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=J9BJ2MNU