My front yard was molested by the state of NC yesterday. I lost two 150 year old maples, (I counted the rings), a 40 foot cedar, a 35 foot holly tree. In a matter of three hours, they were mulch. We bought the house for the trees. The mortgage is paid off. We would move if it made financial sense. It does not. Davis wanted us to name the trees in order to remember them. We call them Maple and Myrtle. So very clever. An unexpected phone call from a friend during the tree removal, distracted me but she probably really was not expecting me to cry. She did empower me to take on the DOT and save my sidewalk. I am sure she expected a much lighter conversation, but she did make me feel better. And it was a grace. If I thought drinking would have helped, I would have had to begin drinking at 8 am. The only thing that would have accomplished would have been a hangover coupled with profound sadness. Another incredible friend dropped a tree grieving gift by (a wind chime- if only I had a tree to hang it in) and a graduation gift. The bag simply read: MERCY. And this morning the Church remember Dame Julian of Norwich and the gospel reading is the Lord's Prayer. I am just guessing, but I think Sir Thomas Cramner planned it that way. And once again the discipline of reading the Daily Office astounds me with its grace. Sometimes I think the readings were chosen just for me. And I suppose God means for it to feel that way.
Today I found comfort in my new haircut, my pedicure and my new pair of Pradas. My newly painted cajun shrimp toes look really great in those shoes. The devil may wear Prada, but so will I for the right price. I found an incredible pair of Prada's for about $25. I don't know what insane person bought and then hated those shoes, but I am glad they did. They are not everyday shoes but I just might have to wear them tomorrow when I visit my friend. I am not sure they warrant a $500 price tag, but they are really great shoes. Epic shoes as Davis would say.
During the middle ages, the Church saw some incredible women. Really incredible women. St. Teresa of Avila, Hildegard and Dame Julian of Norwich. Julian was a young woman of 30 stricken by terrible illness and given last rites to prepare her for heaven. Six days she suffered in agony; then on the seventh day she received 15 visions of Christ’s Passion – and the illness left her. She went straight to her parish church, St. Julian’s,(hence her name, her real name is never recorded), and never left it; they had to build an extra room for her. She wrote down what she’d seen, then spent 15 years trying to sort it out. At last she did; the Lord’s meaning in everything is love. She wrote again, the first book by a woman ever published in the English language, “Revelations of Divine Love,” a masterpiece of Christian spirituality better read today than ever before.
And so today of all days, I was reminded of Julian's wisdom. She is most often quoted saying "all will be well, and all matter of things will be well." Even tree removal. Even death. Even abandonment. Even sickness. "God makes it, God loves it, God keeps it." She was referring to the universe. God keeps it. He keeps everything, everyone He loves. Even dead trees. Even our loved ones who die. Even the parts of ourselves that we lose on the journey of life.
And the most profound thing she said was this:
"This blessed friend is Jesus; it is his will and plan that we hang on to him, and hold tight always, in whatever circumstances; for whether we are filthy or clean is all the same to his love."
It is the plan and will of Jesus that we cling to Him...Cling...those are tough words to consider when you have been wronged, hurt, oppressed, dejected, abandoned, rejected. Tough words to consider when your civil rights are violated. Tough words to consider when the law can not protect you from violence. And I wonder how many who claim to love Jesus thought of that today of all days? How many made decisions today based on what they think God wants? Hate in any form is just that hate. And it is impossible to hate the sin and not hate the sinner. Impossible.
And I was reminded again by a rabbi today, "whenever I consider you less than made in the image of God. Holiness ceases to exist." And I thought about how whenever we view our sisters and brothers as less than the image of God for whatever reason: their lifestyle choices, their burdens, their own woundedness, their own personal demons, their otherness, their differentness, etc. Whenever we wish less for them than ourselves, holiness (translated in the Hebrew as wholeness), can not exist.
And we were to read how Jesus taught us to pray today of all days. Have you ever wondered why it is the prayer most often repeated? Some believe it takes a lifetime to really pray this prayer and it is the only prayer you ever need pray and I believe there is truth in that...
Your will be done (not our own selfish agendas) on earth as it is already being done in heaven...
Give today what we need..just for today...we need not worry about tomorrow needs...all will be well...
Forgive our sins as we forgive others...
Forgive means to release your enemy of the responsibility of making it right...most likely if you can't forgive it...they couldn't make it right...leave it to God..."and isn't it easier to say we don't have any enemies so we don't have to figure out how to love them?" Are we so very, very sure we know who our enemies are? Have we deluded ourselves into thinking our enemies all carry arrows? Have we ever consider the enemy is whoever is most not like us?
Don't let evil overcome us...
all is really is grace if you change lenses...
prada shoes
OPI Cajun shrimp nail polish
shampoo that smells like honey
dead trees
stumps left in the ground
window estimates
Julian of Norwich
wisdom birthed from pain and there is not another way
wind chimes that look like silverware
white McCoy pottery pitchers
baseball championships
chalkboard paint
iced tea
heavy hand cream
forgiveness
commas
words
home runs (four of them in one day and you may never see that again...it has only happened fifteen times in history)
seedless grapes
NC strawberries
The Lord's Prayer
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