Would Jesus Tweet?

Read an article this week about how to be a social media climber.  It is a free, easy way to market yourself. Cultivating a digital image of yourself can help you land a job, nab a book deal or have more social invitations.  Apparently, I need a Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, and LinkedIn account.  I have the latter.  I learned that to be consider successful on LinkedIn, I need no less than 75 connections and I have to have a profile pic. On LinkedIn it is important to establish yourself as an authority, of what I don't know.  You should also follow threads and answer them.  The authority thing is a little suspect to me, since everyone I have observed on LinkedIn is a coach of some sort.  From business exec to life to relationship to marriage to spiritual and this was my personal fave- a courage coach.  I suppose if I were to think real hard about what I might have some expertise in, it would be dying.  But then who wants a dying coach?  I guess I might be able to coach someone through nursing school, but I might tend to ask all the wrong questions.  Like-Are you sure you don't like to eat lunch?  Are bathroom breaks a priority in your life?  And I promise you, there always is one thing everyday that will shock the hell out of you and you never get used to the smell.  Never.

I have a general rule of thumb about social media.  If I couldn't recognize you in a line-up, then I probably don't need to have you as a Facebook friend.  My rule for LinkedIn is, I need to have actually shared a real conversation and maybe a meal with you.  I also wouldn't connect with anyone I couldn't or wouldn't personally vouch for.  Very prudish rules, I  know.  But social media is growing fast and is wildly popular.  It is kind of addicting too.  I have a Facebook friend who posts so much during the work day, I don't know how she gets any work done.  I have another friend who literally never puts her phone down and constantly checks messages.   I also read an article this week and this completely grossed me out, that 89% of all phones cultured have e-coli, c-diff and shigella present on the mouth and ear pieces. For my non-medical readers, e-coli (strain 0157 to be exact), will make you very, very sick.  C-diff can kill you especially if you are neutropenic and shigella can cause a wicked intestinal infection that can make cholera look like a cake walk.   Word to wise, clean that cell phone everyday with alcohol and bleach of some sort.  Also, you might not want to answer it in the bathroom and I know everyone reading this has heard someone do just that. 

I suspect Jesus would have a Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter account.  His profile for Facebook might look something like this:

Education:  Solomon's Temple
Work: Itinerant Preacher, Carpenter, Wine maker, Vineyard dresser, Baker of Bread and Messiah
Living: Nazareth and Galilee and spent a little time at a stable in Bethlehem
Religious Views:  Jewish Reformer
Relationship Status:  Friend of sinners
Favorite Quote:  "Love one another..."

His LinkedIn connection:  God and God alone.

I learned that the best hours for tweeting are between 2pm and 5pm. Tweet 5 to 10 times a day and also tweet back.  It is best to stay engaged with loyal followers than worry about annoying people.  Avoid chiming in unless it is new and relevant. And don't tweet cryptic messages. Research shows that when someone untweets someone, it is because they are dull.  Who knew?  I think Jesus would tweet.  And followers...well there would be multitudes...tweets like...

Love one another, wash feet, the rest is commentary.

Pray.

You really do have all you need for today.

Give thanks in all things.

If you're not feeling it, do it anyway.

Be at peace and know a Good God is everywhere.

Providence and prosperity don't always go hand in hand.

The beauty is in the suffering.

You only have what you give away.  So give it all away.

Greater love has no one than the one who lays down his life for another.

Never be afraid to be broken, God only uses the broken.



Graces given today in abundance...

Mercy
Love
Strangers who love through blogs, facebook, twitter and one day in heaven it will be perfect
Hamburgers again at Fitz on Main
Davis saying after his third day of weight training...."My legs feel so weird, I don't think they will hold me up."
Watermelon
Freshly baked banana bread
The maples beginning to turn
And Facebook and Twitter just might be a mirror of the Kingdom of God
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